What Are the Different Co-parenting Options?

Making sure your children continue to receive the best care is one of the biggest priorities for parents when they separate. And there’s no cookie cutter approach that works for everyone, as providing the best parental care comes down to several other factors, such as the child’s age, communication skills, living arrangements, and other unique circumstances.  

Many parents manage to agree a fair living and time split arrangement for their children without attending court, but when communication breaks down or the situation becomes more complicated, escalating the matter through the legal system sometimes can be necessary.  

What is co-parenting?

Co-parenting is when both parents choose to share their parental care responsibilities for raising their children after they separate and are no longer living together.  

It doesn’t mean that parental responsibilities are completely equally split, but that the care will be shared based on what works best to meet the children’s needs, is most practical and also suits both parents.  

Some parents are able to reach an agreement between themselves, while others prefer the support of mediation to avoid the situation escalating to court.  

Shared care arrangements 

There’s no legal requirement for parental care to be shared equally, but shared care does involve spending substantial amounts of time with both parents. This might work by spending alternate weeks with both parents, or weekdays with one parent and weekends with the other, depending on what’s best suited to individual needs and circumstances. 

When it comes to deciding how to divide parental care, it’s a good idea to consider all of the relevant factors. This includes the child’s needs, school arrangements, work commitments, and travel distances will all have an impact on whether you stick with a shared care schedule or keep things flexible.  

Parallel parenting

Parallel parenting is a good option for those parents who find communication challenging, or where there is ongoing conflict. The idea of it is that communication is kept to a minimum with a more structured arrangement. This minimises the need for day-to-day or regular communication, and offers more independence for each parent during their parenting time.  

This method of shared parenting usually requires handovers, holidays, communication, education and important decisions to be agreed in advance, so everyone knows where they stand.  

Flexible parenting

Flexible parenting is a less structured approach, where parenting responsibilities can change according to weekly/monthly circumstances. This type of parenting usually works best when there is good communication between the parents and a shared commitment to making it work.  

It’s helpful to have some basic expectations in place if you choose this route, in order to maintain a level of consistency for the child or children. But, it does mean that there is a mutual understanding that times and dates can change regularly depending on work commitments, social commitments, school holidays and other activities.  

What to do if you can’t agree 

If you can’t agree on the best way to split your parental care, you might need to get a neutral, third-party mediator involved to help you come to a resolution. 

Mediation is one option. A professional mediator can help parents discuss issues and work towards reaching an agreement based on the children’s needs. Mediation can address important matters like where children live, when they spend time with each parent and how to maintain healthy contact between parents. 

Another form of resolution that many people choose is solicitor negotiation where both parents have their own legal representation. 

In many cases, parents can record an agreement in a child arrangements plan. This provides a useful written record of what has been agreed, but it’s worth noting that an informal child arrangements plan is not legally binding. 

If parents want their agreement to be legally binding, they may be able to apply for a consent order. A solicitor is best placed to advise on whether this is appropriate and help prepare the right documentation. 

Is a court order necessary? 

A court order should be the last port of call, and only if you can’t reach an agreement between yourselves or with a mediator or solicitor. In this case, parents will need to apply to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. This will determine where the child will live, how time is split between parents and the best method of communication between the parents.  

When making decisions about children, the court's main consideration is the child’s welfare, and they’ll take into account the child’s feelings, their physical, emotional and educational needs, the effect of any changes in circumstances and any risk of harm. 

Finding the best co-parenting arrangement for you 

Every family is different, and arrangements that work well for one family may not be right for another. 

If you’re separating and need advice about child arrangements, co-parenting or parental responsibility, speaking to a family law solicitor can help you understand your legal position and identify the most appropriate way forward. 

Contact our expert team of family law solicitors on 0800 998 1155 today to discuss separation, divorce or coparenting dispute resolution.